This is a poem I wrote while I was going through some pretty rough stuff. I was feeling so much stress, I was grieving from the “loss” of a good friend and I was feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I needed a way to get my negative feelings out and this is what I came up with.
Naked cold and alone I sit as the bathtub slowly fills. I watch as the water pours from the faucet. I put my hands out and my fingers touch the water.
I can feel it as it beats down on my hands. Drop after drop the beads of water fall from my fingers, down my palms, and off my wrists; rushing down into the tub like the tears that are falling from my eyes.
The water turns cold and I realize that my hands have become numb. Beating after beating each little drop of water has, without intention, taken away my ability to feel. At some point while staring mindlessly at the water I lost my focus.
I turn off the faucet and put my head under the water. As my eyes close I can feel every care slip away.
I AM DROWNING!
When did the calm become chaos? When did my mind get so clouded that I lost sight of my happiness? When did I become so weak that I let the beating water numb me?
I gasp for air and feel my lungs expand as I arise from the water. This isn’t the end. This is the last day I will feel numb. I will not allow the waters of the world beat me down any longer.
I will emerge from this tub; alive.
–Brittany Kraft 4/29/2016